"I have Lupus; it doesn't have me". I have brown eyes,
medium brown skin, big lips, a small nose, black hair(currently), big feet, long fingers and Lupus. All of the elements above are pieces of me, and together they help make me whole. However none of them alone can completely represent me.
I have had Lupus almost all of my adult life. About 3 or 4 years prior to diagnosis I had symptoms and a lot of unexplained sicknesses. All in all Lupus has been with me for a very long time.
At the time of my diagnosis my daughter was young and she needed me. My husband is wonderful but he couldn't do it all by himself. Quite simply my family needed me. I decided I couldn't make Lupus the main focus of my life. If I did it would make me a one dimensional and probably a very miserable person.
Lupus took a lot from me and my family. It took away my ability to have more than one child. It is a complication of Lupus called Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS). It causes problems with pregnancy, miscarriages, venous, and arterial clots. I had an arterial clot and needed a bypass at 28 years old. I also had to have another surgery 3 years later to correct an issue with the bypass surgery. I have to be careful with mundane tasks like like shaving because of the blood thinner I take.
Another complication/disease Lupus has given me is Class IV (4) Lupus Nephritis. The possibility of having dialysis and/or kidney failure someday is very real for me. I had to take chemo for 3 years in order to stop the damage to my kidneys. I have host of medications I take now in order to maintain what the chemo did for my kidneys.
There are other complications I could list, however I wont. I don't want to list them because in the big scheme of things they aren't important to me now. What is important to me is thru it all I kept fighting and kept on living. Lupus could very well consume me but I work very hard at not letting it.
Lupus doesn't deserve anymore room in my life than it already has. I have many other things to live for and this disease isn't one of them. I hope that everyone diagnosed can learn to get past the disease and get on with business of living.
Lupus has taken enough from me and I refuse to willingly give it anything more. Lupus is a piece of me; just like my brown eyes. But it isn't and will never be all of me.
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