No More Lies

  Let's face it, I hate working out. I have made up excuses for the last 6 months about working out: I'll wait until I feel better; I'm incoherent in the morning; I'm too tired in the evening; I'll start next month; Monday's suck;  I'll start on even numbered day; and my all time favorite excuse is : I don't like to sweat!

It took me a while but I finally got tired of  lying to myself. I was getting pretty mad at myself and the limitations I placed on me. I wouldn't accept anyone else trying to limit me; however I was perfectly willing to limit myself. I think what upset me the most is I was essentially sabotaging myself. Today was slow going but I stuck with it.  It is going to take a while to build up strength, speed, and stamina but I have no doubt that I can do it. I have a friend who has Lupus as well and she bench presses 135 lbs! She can dead lift 150! This woman loves to run, she swims laps, and is learning to be a trapeze artist! I don't have that kind of goal in mind, I just want to be in shape and lose weight.

 Being on steroids for the last 16 years has not helped, in fact it is a large part of why I've put on so much weight. Steriods are a triple danger for me- it has weakened my spine , bones and has also given me steroid-induced diabetes at one time 10 years ago. The fact is it's going to be hard to get the weight off and even harder if my steroid dosage ever has to be increased. That will put me in danger of losing any progress I will have made. But I am not going to live in the world of what ifs.

 I have always been comfortable with myself no matter what size I am or how much I weigh. But it isn't about me being comfortable or okay with myself anymore. Now it's about me getting as healthy as I can. I don't want my weight to be another danger to my life. Lupus is enough of a danger to me as it is. In the past I've lost weight by dieting, but I've not been able to keep it off because I didn't want to include exercise. This time I am going to do it right- both work out and eat right. Time for a total lifestyle change.

 I think my family is afraid....and they should be.

 

Comments

[Elizabeth Wald]

Fabulous, inspirational and right to a VERY good point about the benefits of exercise. Nice writing. Shalonda!

xoxo Lizzy

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Thanks Lizzy! I appreciate the encouragement both with my exercising and my writing. I'm still a work in progress in both!